network samples

[jeongbro]

I. I just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

II. Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

III. This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

IV. I think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

V. She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada.

Comments

I.

[rexcorvos]

That doesn't sound atypical.

...Was it someone we know?

[jeongbro]

No but now I do feel obligated to say hello.

I didn't even wear good shoes for this.

IV

[primordialerebus]

Oh hey uh. Long time no speak I guess???

Was this meant for someone else or like???

[jeongbro]

Oh shit haha yea.

But like. I'm right right??

[primordialerebus]

...

Ok yeah that would be pretty cute.

So like, how's Richington McRich Academy or whatever treating ya?

[jeongbro]

Excuse Richington McRich Academy is in the DC area this is Riching von Richburg: Appalachian family campus.

Pretty alright I guess. Needs less White People.

[primordialerebus]

Oh shit my mistake. How's Riching von Richburg: Appalachian family campus treating you...

God I had to retype that way too many times.

See I'd say like, I told you so but. We been knew. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jeongbro]

If only there was some way we could have avoided this. Like, say, keeping me in Vancouver instead of sending me to the middle of fucking nowhere.

Sigh. No Ivy League is worth this travesty.

[primordialerebus]

*laughs in Orange County*

I just want you to know I'm eating like, literally the best dan dan mian right now.



( ˘ ³˘)♥

[jeongbro]

Little Sister why do you want to hurt me like this???

[primordialerebus]

Consider it payback for roasting the fuck out of Leon last time which like. You were right???

But sorry only I get roasting priviledges.

[jeongbro]

I cannot be held responsible. When a man needs a roast he needs a roast!

Now come here and make me food. The boys are driving me crazy and I can't drive to DC to get dim sum.

Before you ask: I broke the car again.

[primordialerebus]

Yeah sure lemme just ask my best friend to uh, teleport me across the country, gimme a sec.

[ Ignore the fact that's an actual possibility, but she's trying not to get him involved in the absolute insanity that's her life. ]

Also I got idol practice tomm morning. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[jeongbro]

Guess I better tell eomma to fly me out to you on break.

I guess.

Making me go commercial. Shame.

[primordialerebus]

Poor baby's been spoiled by private jets and the high life.

Press F to mourn.

Ok seriously though what's the wildest shit you've seen?

[jeongbro]

I saw a kid make a force field before he was crushed with a bunch of roof shale.

Oh, and someone else blew himself up with a giant dragon. But fuck that guy. Cool to look at, no lose.

Or did you want the mundane "I walked in on someone sucking dick" sort of gossip? I have that too.

[primordialerebus]

... Wait. Are you joking or???

[jeongbro]

Would I joke about walking in on blowjobs???

[primordialerebus]

Dude I'm gonna fight you I meant the forcefield and dragon shit.

[jeongbro]

Oh.

Yeah, those too.

Look, the White Folk are WEIRD out here.

[primordialerebus]

... I'd say this is some superhero bullshit but.

You sure your principal isn't named Professor X or some shit?

[jeongbro]

God I wish that would be so much cooler and also imply I was an x-men.

[primordialerebus]

God yeah you'd make a terrible x-men. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

So does everyone have powers then? DO YOU???

ii

[bulldoginnit]

you really keep 1k in your fucken wallet???

[jeongbro]

1000 MORE, Eggsy dear please try to keep up.

And do not mug me.

[bulldoginnit]

you fucken asking for it with that much on you

but pls you really think im hard up enough to nick cash from a friend?

[jeongbro]

You could be trying to prove something, you know. Big strong tough boy like yourself.

I love that we're not trying to puzzle out what I've done for $1000 btw. Very discrete of you.

[bulldoginnit]

aint got nothing to prove to you but if thats a challenge you gonna lose

lmao rich boy like you could just take it out the cash machine like it dont matter how tf i know where your money comes from

[jeongbro]

I mean the Black Card is accepted most any where these days I generally only need cash for my Weed Man

[bulldoginnit]

i hope you wasnt planning on spending all that on weed tho

[ look he has low weed standards bc he had to take what he could get when he first started smoking ]

[jeongbro]

GOD no I'm not White People

[bulldoginnit]

well i am and i still wouldnt do that jfc

[jeongbro]

That's because you're as smart as you are pretty Eggsy ;)

[bulldoginnit]

well i do like to think i got SOME taste ;)

so what you gonna do with all that cash then

i mean assuming you can just blow a grand on whatever without it being a big deal

[jeongbro]

I can't remember the last time I spent a grand in one place that wasn't a donation or something, honestly.

No. Okay I got a suit once that was $1000 but that's different. That's definitely an investment.

Do you think they have investment opportunities around here?

[bulldoginnit]

well yeah ofc a good suits worth that but in general like that is way too fucken much to spend in one place

[ he might be pretty well off now himself, but he's not used to the idea of spending money like that at all, and figures he never will be. ]

idk fuck all about investing bruv sounds like a great way to just lose all your money over some arbitrary bs

[jeongbro]

You're thinking wall street. I'm thinking infrastructure.

There has to be something I can do around here, right?

[bulldoginnit]

yeah theres like anything you want really
plenty of places to absolutely waste your money lmao